WHO TAUGHT YOU FEAR?
My daughter never stops trying.
I had to stop putting her in the walker because she was convinced that she could pick up things from the floor a few inches from ground level in this entrapment that’s meant to help her move around not pick things up. After the experience of plunging head first to the floor, you would think she would stop trying but a few minutes later, there she was trying to master the art of bending to the floor sideways in her walker. That was when I decided, no more use of walkers, she's fine crawling all over the place.
It is the audaciousness of my daughter and babies in general that amazes me. How no matter how much they fall or fail at something, they keep trying. You never see a baby say nope, this walking thing isn’t working for me so I’ll stick to crawling because that’s a lot easier, instead they keep going at it. When they hurt themselves, they cry a little and in a few minutes they are back at it again but this time with more tact because they would have learned something from the falling experience.
A few days ago, I watched my little girl, attempt to stand on her own, she held on to the table, pulled herself up, then let go for a few seconds before falling on her bum, she did this a few more times until she got distracted by something else and moved on from it. It was funny to watch and also fearful for me as her mother because I was sure she was going to hurt herself until I heard a voice ask me
Who taught you 'fear'?
We were all babies like First Lady E (that’s my daughter by the way), all eager to face the world, attempt new things and determined to succeed at them. It was a given if we kept trying, we would keep going and we would overcome. At what point did we develop the fear of the unknown, or of not succeeding that we all stopped trying? Is it something we were taught or is it the experience of life that has taken away our audaciousness that we are all born with.
Fear stops us from living our best lives.
Fear of the unknown, of failure, of hurting oneself, of being ridiculed, of what people would say and so on. Our maker knows how much we possess in us so he gave us the power to achieve them, love for the people around us along the way and self-discipline to control our feelings, motivate ourselves and overcome our weaknesses.
I recently turned 31, I was excited because for once I felt like I was finally living for me and not for anyone else. For the previous 30 years of my life, I was constantly afraid of failing, of not being accepted and most of all what people would say (I guess that comes with being a Preacher's kid), I always took steps knowing the outcome would be good if not great until I was faced with what was my greatest fear in life.
When my marriage was falling apart, I was afraid, not afraid of losing it, but more scared of being a statistic, having a 'failed' marriage before it hit its first anniversary, being a single mother and having to face the world. Being a preacher's kid didn't make it any easier, what would the church say? what would people who know and respect my parents say? What would people think of me? what about all those testimonies I gave? All those big men of God that were at the wedding? my friends, that traveled from all over the world to be a part of it? What effect would it have on my brand? all the social media hype? the questions were endless and most of which I could not answer but I knew it was either to stay at the detriment of my mental health or face my fears head on.
The truth is, no one taught us 'fear'
But somehow we stop ourselves from being happy or achieving our goals because we want to please everyone else or we are just too afraid of failing. Failing is a part of life, what happens after is what matters, do you sit on the floor or do you pull yourself up and try again like First Lady E?
Despite all odds and unlike me, I faced my fears... I am still facing them, but one thing I can tell you is that in facing them, I have found a new me that I never allowed flourish in the previous years of my life...it's like being born again.
To overcome the fear, you need to ask yourself what is the worst that could happen, when you have answered that question, then you will be ready to live a purposeful life.
Do not be bound by your fears, break free and unlock the real you.